The dater: Sasha Ruddock is an influencer and content creator. She co-founded the popular YouTube channel Deddy’s Kitchen and runs size-inclusive fashion line Flaws of Couture. She has recently been travelling in Ghana.
“Working on two businesses all year round can really take a hold on your mental health, so it’s important to me to take the time I need to get away and rest. These days I’m in Africa. As a Jamaican-Canadian with African roots, it was officially time for me to go to the motherland to learn more about who I am and my lineage.”
The dates: “I definitely wasn’t dating much at all when I was at home in Toronto. I would be open to the occasional date, but I prefer to date outside of the GTA. And I don’t regret it because I am in a great relationship now. I think the dating scene in Toronto is difficult. I don’t know if that’s because I am of a certain culture or body frame, but I do see how difficult it is for all women in the city, no matter their background or size. Unfortunately, it seems as though a lot of people are more interested in hookups than building a future. This could be in any city, but it’s definitely prevalent in Toronto.
When I was trying to date in Toronto, I did use dating apps here and there. But not for long. I’ve always wanted to meet someone organically. Kinda like in the movies, you know? And when you’re travelling, it’s all about genuine connections. I find that people outside of the West are way more inclined to speak with people they do not know. Some of the greatest friendships and relationships are built that way. No apps are ever needed.
When you date on vacation, you feel like you’re in a movie, living your fairytale dreams. There’s something about dating while you’re away from home that really brings out the storybook-princess side out of you. You don’t know what to expect but because you’ve never been there, the newness feels refreshing and adventurous.
You often get treated like a lady as well — truly. Different cultures have different values. And sometimes, you’ll find that you align with your new date’s values much more than the ones at home. It can make you feel like you’re finally meeting someone who naturally cares about the things you care about. Plus, there’s no need for a tour guide if you and your new date have chemistry. They’ll want to show you around if they’re from the area. And if they aren’t, they’ll surely still want to discover with you. It’s a win-win.
You never know anyone’s true intentions, though, either — especially a person on the other side of the globe — so you really have to pay attention and be careful. Not every dating-abroad story ends in hearts and rainbows. It’s important to be safe and intuitive, wherever you date.
And you might fall in love — but now what? You’ve got to go home and now you’re potentially entering into a long-distance relationship and we all know how difficult that can be. Dating abroad means you’re okay with the chance that you could really find your person, and they may not be a 15-minute drive away. Can you handle that?
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My best vacation date started in unique way at an event. A handsome man with the most beautiful smile walked up to me and told me he wanted to take me out. I never give my number out. When asked, I always say ‘let me take yours.’ I knew his energy had swayed me almost instantly because when he asked me for my number, I immediately typed it into his phone like a giddy schoolgirl. I hadn’t felt that way in years. He was actually working at the event and said he couldn’t pass up the opportunity to say hello. At first, I wasn’t expecting much to come from it, but he kept his word, and took me out two days later. We ended up having a long, beautiful conversation. We played songs for each other and no matter how busy he was with work that week, he made sure to see me and spend time with me. He invited me into his world, and that alone made me feel the difference.
A lot of bad dates can be avoided by having great conversations beforehand. Have all the fun, but don’t waste your time. Only date the people who truly make time to get to know you. You can’t just go on a date with every person that wants to go on one with you.
If, by some chance, I end up dating in these Toronto streets again, I will definitely take back that I truly am the prize. I do deserve to be courted and treated like the queen that I am. It’s not too much to have someone care for you deeply and thoroughly. And if you’re not a man with a plan, you simply do not get the time of day. Not at this age, that is!”
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